Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Remember this, I am a good guy. :) I donated my old clothes! Remember yesterday? I told you that my chinese teacher said there was a donation drive. Yep, so its bye bye to my old clothes. What should I do today? Ok, how about some Jokes/Riddles -A woman got on a bus holding a baby.
NOTE: Hight light to see the answers for riddles
- How can you tell if a lawyer is lying
His lips are moving
- What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire
A vampire only sucks blood at night
The next few are dedicated to teachers
- Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
- Student: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Student: good, because i didn't do my homework.
- Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
-Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you
understand me?
Son: No.
- Man: I could go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?
Man: I offer you myself.
Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts.
Man: I want to share everything with you.
Woman: Let's start from your bank account.
Ok... was that funny? Looks like you are not laughing LAUGH NOW! I COMMAND YOU TO! Maybe this long ones will
The bus driver said: "That`s the ugliest baby I`ve ever seen. "In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me" she fumed. The man sympathized and said: "Why, he`s a public servant and shouldn`t say things to insult passengers." "You`re right" she said. "I think I`ll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind." "That`s a good idea" the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
-Years ago while lying in my hammock and drinking JD from the bottle I noticed my dog dragging something under the fence. Upon inspection, to my dismay, I realized it was the next door neighbor's 10 year old daughter's rabbit. For years I had watch her come home from school and head straight out to its cage, free it and play with it in the yard. I knew today would be no different and fearing for our dog, I had to think fast. The rabbit was quite dirty, as if it had put up quite a struggle, so I washed it off with the hose, combed it with the Dog brush and blew it dry with the leaf blower. Upon finishing it's grooming, I hopped the fence and replaced back in its cage hoping it's death would be written off as "natural causes." Back to the hammock and my JD. Within the hour, the neighbor's Volvo pulled in as usual and out popped the little girl, and as usual she headed straight for the cage. Only this time she stopped about six feet away and screamed: "DDDAAADDDYYY!!!" Her father, panic stricken, stood looking at the cage. Being the good neighbor that I am, I rushed to the fence and asked if there was anything I could do. Her father less than calmly blurted, "What kind of sick individual would dig up a little girl's dead rabbit and put it back in it's cage??"
Laughing now? GOOD BOY. Ok, maybe i could do a short summary of my day at school? Nothing new, lessons going on. We had PE today and did hockey. Then it was recess. Guess what happened! I went to play soccer. And after recess, a guy in out class had actually released the foam from the fire extinguisher. Wow? Someone else in out class said he saw the guy covered in white smoke. HILARIOUS? I cannot believe someone would do that. It just does not make sense.
Anyway, he was made to report the incident and purchase a new extinguisher. Good luck to him. And Now!!!
It's time for......PLANT OF THE DAY
Today's plant will be the Venus Fly Trap, Snap!
The trapping mechanism is tripped when prey items stumble against one of the three hair-like trichomes that are found on the upper surface of each of the lobes. The trapping mechanism is so specialized that it can distinguish between living prey and non-prey stimuli such as falling raindrops; two trigger hairs must be touched in succession or one hair touched twice, whereupon the lobes of the trap will snap shut in about 0.1 seconds.
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to(countless) for html code help :) (esp.cyn'and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities
